Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Move to Crib, Mom's Class, Personality Update

Kian's Move to His Crib

Kian is moved into his room and slept in his crib for the first time last night. (Thanks to a little encouragement from Daddy, Mommy decided to give it a try.) I was worried he would get scared when he woke up in there - as he has once before - but he did great last night. Now if I can only get him back to sleeping straight through 6 hours again then I will be happy :) Right now he's sleeping for four hours then up again two hours later and then again two hours later. The two hour intervals is that he can't get himself back to sleep. I just go in there, reswaddle him and give him a pacifier and he's out. I have been thinking of finding a lovey for him (something that he will find comfort in the middle of the night and not need me to help him get back to sleep). I haven't chosen one yet, but I am definitely working on that one. I am also reading a book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution and once I feel like I have a handle on what Kian needs me to do to help him learn to sleep longer then I will be working with him more on it.

Cold Again?!?! Teething?!?!

Kian's voice turned horse again last night. I don't really know if he has a cold or if he's teething. I can't see anything white on his gums...but I guess it could be the start of the teeth moving. He seems to be pretty content for the most part. I guess we will have to wait and see what will happen :)

New Mommies Group

Kian and I are attending a new Mommies group on Monday afternoons. The one that we were taking with Kathy ended and some moms decided to continue on our own. I sure am glad that we did because it's so good to connect with other moms who have babies the same age.

At my last Mom's group with Kathy (who was our doula, child birth instructor and facilitator of my Mom's group) I got a photo of Kian and Kian since we didn't have one we would be able to show him (the only other photo we have of her is of me pushing - not something I will share with anyone but Jamie lol), but I wanted Kian to know what she looked like she she said so many wonderful things to him in the letter that she wrote for him after he was born.

Also, at the last group Kian and I had our hand prints made. Kathy has a lady who does the prints locally come in and do them for a group of moms who are interested. You could choose from his hand, foot, both hands and feet, one hand, one foot, or you could choose to have your hand print with his inside. We chose to have our prints done together (Jamie thought it was really neat too). I figured that it will be a time that I will remember for the rest of my life and I will be in awe when Kian is about 16 and his hand will completely swallow mine :) We will have the handprints back to us the last week of September and I will take a photo of it when we get it back.

The new class was held for the first time on Monday. The class is pretty much made up of moms that were in lamaze classes together. We lined up our babies on the couch and here's the outcome:

From left to right: Tiffany, Liliana, Kian, Alex, and Danielle

Notice whose the only one crying in the picture - I told the Mom's that it would only capture what he's like a lot of the time anyway hehe I think that being swished with all those other babies was something foreign to him and he didn't like it very much. My friend Gina (Danielle's Mom) is a pro at doing thing with photos and such on the computer and I jokingly replied to her email of this photo by saying she should Photoshop a happy smile onto Kian's face - she said she was up for the challenge and replied with this photo:

Pretty good for a fake smile, huh!?!?! hehe

Personality Update

Kian is getting better and better as the weeks go by. His personality is definitely a challenge - it's especially hard when we are in public and people have to poke their noses and say "oh, he's hungry" when he just ate before we left the house or "he's colicky" no he's not...he's been in this car seat for a half hour now and he's tired wouldn't you cry too - especially when you are tired... I can tell you from having a challenging child I will NEVER say anything to some strange mother about what is wrong with her child - although I might pat her on the back and tell her that it does get better and I am living proof lol

I have also been encouraged by some moms in my group this week. They told me about how much Kian has progressed into being more content and happy. The first time we were at Mom's group he cried the entire time - one mom even confessed today that she secretly hoped we wouldn't be at group because Kian cried so much (this is coming from a mom with what seems to be the easiest baby in the world - next to Danielle that is!). This mom also told me that she can see every week how Kian is getting better and better with things. It also helps that Kian has lots of big smiles for everyone when he is having a content period. But when he has his meltdowns - there's not return from the edge sometimes.

At my last Mom's group Kathy told me that her first born - her daughter was also a "high needs" baby and she was so bad that people thought her and her husband would never have another baby! (They had two more after her by the way.) Kathy told me she wished that the kinds of things that are out there now - techniques for calming and just knowing what to do with a child who have a difficult personality - were at her fingertips when she was dealing with her daughter. I feel blessed to have books and videos to consult in how to calm him and to know how to deal with them. Her daughter is now a wonderful woman who works with Focus on the Family and has a great relationship with her mom. But Kathy confessed that her daughter was high needs until she was about 5 years old - that was kind of discouraging but at least I know there is hope for Kian to be a wonderful person when he grows up.

The difficult thing about having a high needs child is that I really don't have anyone to connect with on that issue in our group. One mom even said that I am probably one of the few moms that actually get out with their babies when they are a high needs child. I honestly don't think I could handle just staying at home with a crying child all the time - and he needs to socialize as well. One thing that is difficult for me at moms group is that, some things that Mom's do with their babies I cannot do with Kian - like crying it out - I tried just letting him cry for 5 - 10 minutes and he was BALLISTIC. I have a VERY hard time calming him down. I have decided that I need to continue to follow what my heart is telling me to do - and I am so glad that Kathy has encouraged us to do that. She says that if your instincts as a mom are telling you that this is not right, then it probably isn't. Kian is such a different from the normal, run-of-the-mill babies that for me to do something that works for one mom might not work for us. I dream of the day that I can put Kian in a shopping cart without a meltdown - now I shop with him in the front carrier because he will fall asleep being close to me and from the movement.

Life with a high needs child is sure difficult...but God has given me the ability to view this as what is normal for Kian and I have to learn to help him cope and just deal with it. God made him who he is and he's a special guy who needs special attention. My friend Gina said that I should take Kian's temperament as a complement from God because He will never give us more than we can handle. That is so true that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I guess I'm definitely blessed with a wonderful, beautiful baby boy who I love dearly. As for a compliment from God, I will have to have a talk with Him when and if we decide to do this again LOL

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