Monday, December 20, 2004

Here is right before meeting Santa :)





Check out these photos of Kian with Santa - I thought he might start to cry but he didn't! hehe







Here is our cute guy in his Exersaucer near the Christmas tree :)





Mommy and Kian after we did our Family Photo for our Christmas letter - at least he's looking at the camera for once!




Friday, December 17, 2004

This has been the BEST day!

Today has been the best day! I did lock myself out of the house and the car on the day to Mom’s Group this morning. So Kian and I waited outside for Jamie to come and unlock the door for us. But thankfully that wouldn’t set the tone for the rest of the day :) Today was Jamie’s last day of work for the year (he has the rest of the year off!) He also got a bonus from the completion of the game and got a lot of positive feedback about how they think he’s doing. I am so proud of him!

THEN tonight was Oddworld’s Holiday Party. It was at the Madonna Inn. Priscilla (the lady I lived when I lived in SLO a few years ago) came and watched Kian. It was the first time that Jamie and I left the house without him! I was VERY nervous…more concerned about Priscilla having to endure his screaming! I guess he fell asleep about 10 mins after we left and did fairly well. He was a crank a lot of the time, but he did pretty well. Even though I was nervous I knew that Kian was in good hands :)

The party was great! Jamie and I had so much fun :) We had dinner, an open bar and after dinner there was gambling to win tickets to put toward winning items like a X-box, digital camera, DVD player to name a few. Before he started we were told to look under our chairs for envelopes and Jamie ended up winning an X-box game. Then Jamie and I played blackjack and Texas hold ‘em poker. I stayed at the same table all night – the dealer was super nice and helped me out a lot. It was so much fun :) We came out with A LOT of tickets and I ended up winning the digital camera!!! I really wanted it because I wanted to get an upgrade to the camera we have now but we can’t afford to do that. It’s an AMAZING camera that does a lot of stuff that I couldn’t even imagine! It is about the size of a credit card, takes video that has audio, and Jamie has read reviews about it that say that it takes professional looking photos! Jamie put all his tickets in the box to win the Nintendo DS (the new handheld game system) and didn’t win but the person who did heard he wanted it and gave it to him! This is something that they can barely keep in stores right now because it’s so wanted! The person who gave it to him will get some brownies from me when the office is open again!

All in all, it was an awesome day and an awesome night! We are so blessed :) And I am so happy to have Jamie home with us during the day. We can have some good quality time all together before the holidays :)

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Christmas and Kian's New Tricks (or lack there of)

Christmas is Right Around the Corner!

Jamie and I bought a beautiful fake tree this year. It is so pretty! I sure do miss the smell of a fresh pine but I don’t miss the needles or the hives I get from the pokes of pine needles (ouch!) It was so neat to go through our ornaments and think about each one and when we got it. Right in the middle front hangs our “Parents to Be” ornament that someone gave us last year as a gift. It’s hard to imagine that I was pregnant at this time last year! In fact on December 22 of last year we found out that Kian was a boy and gave him a name :)

We are very excited for Kian’s first Christmas. We will travel down to my Aunt Lori and Uncle David’s place and on the 23rd my parents will fly in! Randy will be meeting Kian for the first time and I am very excited for that :) My grandparents will also make their way over from Arizona (they are snowbirds) for Christmas and they will see Kian for the first time too. It will be a pretty exciting time for all of us. Christmas Eve will be quite a busy time because not only will we have all the before mentioned people but we will also have my cousin Allison and her husband and one-year-old daughter, Camlyn joining us :) It will be a packed place! But we are looking forward to it!

Look What I Can Do, Mom!

Well, Kian has found out a new trick. He can make himself throw up anything food that I give him that he doesn’t like. He will gag until what he doesn’t like is out if his mouth and usually everything else I just fed him follows. At first I would just say, “No” in a panicked tone when he would start to gag but I figured out if I sing to him and or shake a toy at him it distracts him enough to keep his food down. I also found out that smaller bites and the first taste of food – no matter what it is – he will gag. He really needs everything I give him so it has been a frustrating week or two dealing with Kian and his new trick.

Kian’s Weight

Kian’s weight is on its way up! I weighed him today and he was up about 4 ounces from last week. I will still be weighing him every week just to make sure he’s doing well – we are going every other week to Dr. Bravo so he can monitor his weight too.

Rolling Over

Kian has discovered that if he wants a toy that’s out of reach he can roll from back to front to get it. He does know how to roll back over onto his back but for some reason he seems to have forgotten it over the last week! I have no idea how this happened or why but he will stay on his belly until he cries and cries. I try not to help him unless he cries a lot so he will try to do it on his own.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Gaining, A Christmas Tree, and Daddy's Blog

And the scales tip in Kian's Favor!
It's been a good week so far for Kian :) I took him to my lactation consultant and he was up to 13lbs 12 oz.! The week before I think he was at 12lb 14 oz. She also measured him and he's 25 inches long. Then on Wed. I weighted him at Dr. Bravo's office and they weighed him 8 days before at 13lbs. and his weight that day was 14lbs. 4oz! Dr. Bravo was very pleased :) He is the the 3% for weight and height but he seems to be making a curve on the growth charts now so that is the right growth for him. Little stinker is still in 1-2 sized diapers! lol

I don't think Kian is getting as much milk as he should. It's not a problem on my end, it's a problem because he wants to talk and be social. I get him to eat pretty well when he's super hungry or tired though so I try to catch him like that as often as possible. I am going to talk to Dr. Bravo on Monday about eating with Kian. Right now I am packing calories into him and I want to make sure that I have a healthy balance going on so I don't set him up to be overweight.

I will be going to a free breastfeeding clinic on Wednesday and weigh Kian again then. He will also have his 6 months immunizations done on Monday. He was sick when he should have had them - poor guy had his 6 month birthday in the hospital. It was very strange to be in the hospital at that time - the pediatric ward has double doors that separate them from the Mommy Baby ward - it was strange to think that 6 months ago to the day I was on the other side of the floor recovering from surgery and Jamie and I were trying to figure out how to care for Kian.

We have a Christmas Tree!
Also, other huge news is that Jamie's Mom sold the Christmas tree we had when we were living there so we had money to buy a very nice tree this year! We are so excited to put it up! This weekend we will do some decorating for Christmas :)

Daddy's Blog!
Jamie now has his own blog :) So if you want to read up on Daddy's perspective on things take a look :) http://www.jamesondurall.blogspot.com/

Monday, November 29, 2004

Photos of Kian - Including his Hospital Stay

We haven't had a chance to update our website with photos in a while, but I wanted to get some of them in my blog right away. Hopefully we will have photos up soon for viewing.

First, here's a photo of our little Packer Fan (shhh...don't tell Daddy hehe)


Here's Kian with Nurse Shelley. She cared for Kian during the day shift for almost the entire time he was in the hospital. She worked really hard to get a feeding plan down for Kian too :)


Here's an upclose shot of Kian with his feeding tube. I think he was the happiest sick kid in the entire hospital!


Here's another one of "Happy Man" with Daddy


Here's a photo of him sitting in his highchair ready for some cereal - this was before he was sick. His little head barely comes over the tray hehe


Here's one on Halloween. Kian was Spiderman :) I think he's trying to tell us that it's time for some trick or treating hehe It was hard to take photos of him because he kept wanting to play with the bag!





Monday, November 22, 2004

Pretty Gosh Darn Bad Seems Like Nothing Compared to This!

We got home Sunday, November 15 after being in the hospital for 9 days! Yep – that was 9 days of no going outside for Mom or Kian. Poor Kian had a stomach virus that just totally wiped him out. He was vomiting for an entire day and was very lethargic the next day which was also the same day that me and Jamie started puking ourselves. It was so bad that both of us ran to the bathroom in the peds office to throw up in the middle of telling the doctor what was going on. The doctor decided to admit us to the hospital because it was Friday and she was afraid that Kian would really get dehydrated. They started an IV on Kian so he wouldn’t need to eat but he could if he wanted to. Since I was sick my milk pretty much dried up – I couldn’t keep even two sips of Sprite down so it was good he had the IV in for a few days. Thankfully there was a bed in the room that they just let me and Kian sleep in together so I could rest and be with Kian. Co-sleeping helps milk production anyway so I didn’t mind :)

The next day I was able to keep food down and I started taking my herbs again for milk production (I had found out the day before Kian got sick that my milk supply had decreased by half due to some odd sucking Kian has). From all the vomiting I did, my milk was dried up anyway and needed a boost. In the mean time, they put an NG tube or a feeding tube down Kian’s nose that went right to his stomach so they could dump food into it. Kian was refusing a bottle – he was having an oral aversion to anything foreign in his mouth. Kian hated the tube…he was gagging on it at first and then started vomiting…the nurses slowed down how fast they were giving him the formula and the doctor told them to lower the amount. At first she had him getting 4.5 ounces when he hadn’t had any food in 3 days at all in his stomach and before that he was only used to 2 ounces anyway. For the next 5 days I tried not to pick him up or move him at all when he was eating to help him not throw up. It was so sad :( I would play with him or cuddle with him to go to sleep.

They ran tests on his poop to see what kind of virus he had but they all came up negative. He had x-rays to see if there were blockages and a radiology test to see how things were going through his digestive system. Everything came up fine. Part of his small intestine was inflamed from the virus and all the vomiting so that is why he continued to vomit. The last four days we were in the hospital Kian stopped vomiting and I started to breastfeed again and supplement what he didn’t get either with a syringe or through the feeding tube. I would weigh him before and after I would feed him so we would know exactly how much more to give him.

After 9 days of being there I think I know all the nurses names on the unit! We were so ready to go home. Kian has slowly been gaining weight. I think I have weighed him every day this week either at the doctors office or at my lactation consultant’s (LC) hehe

Last Tuesday I went to my LC and found out that Kian got 4.5 ounces from me! That is exactly what he needs :) She told me to stop force feeding him with the syringe and just get back to normal with him. I talked to the doctor yesterday and he said to also stop force feeding him. I was so glad as it took about an hour and a half to do all of that! Not fun for all of us.

Then on Friday I weighed Kian and he was back down to the weight he was when he left the hospital. My LC suggested mixing cereal with fruit because he won’t take the food with formula or just water…he just wants my milk. Since I had already given him sweet potatoes and he reacted well to them and liked them I decided to start giving him that mixed in with the cereal and he has eaten a lot more of that and I can actually sneak in some formula to make the calories higher.

This last week we have also been getting meals from some wonderful ladies at church. I would have no idea how I would eat otherwise. It’s so hard being so far away from family and being in need of help. Also, the moms from my Mom’s Group have been SO wonderful too – I honestly don’t know what we would do without these ladies. Jamie is still working a lot of hours right now. It’s been pretty exhausting taking care of Kian and myself to make sure my milk is doing good.

It sure was a rough 9 days for us. Especially because Jamie’s Mom, sister and aunt flew out here from Kentucky for a visit that has been planned for months. I felt so bad for being the germ Nazi, but I think that everyone understood my fears. Hopefully next visit they will be able to spend more time with Kian and he will be well.

Kian sure charmed all the nurses in the peds unit! Sometimes it was hard to believe that he was sick because he was so happy and talkative. It sure made those 9 days easier to bear with a child who was in good spirits.

This situation has really taught me a lot. It has taught me to really enjoy Kian. For a while there we weren’t sure what was wrong with him and part of me still wonders if he could have CF, which was something that doctors were going to look into if he didn’t gain weight in the hospital. It was amazing to see that in a matter of moments I wasn’t worried about how much Kian was sleeping and where or if he was rolling over or not from back to front – I was worried about him and the thought of losing him or some disease would be too much for me to take. I realize now that all the things that I think are petty now are just details. The most important thing is Kian – period. I am here for guidance, teaching and love – he will sleep through the night when he is ready, he will roll from back to front when he’s ready. Right now all he needs is my love and attention and the rest will all fall into place someday. I just feel so grateful to have Kian and such a wonderful husband.

I have heard people say that when you have a child your heart lives outside your body – my heart laid in that bed for those 9 days praying for recovery and my heart still is with him as I pray that he gains weight and remains healthy.

We took some photos of Kian while he was in the hospital for his baby book – I will post them as soon as Jamie has uploaded them.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

From Bad to Worse to Pretty Gosh Darn Bad

The Bad

What a day yesterday was for me and Kian! From my last post as you know Kian hasn't been sleeping well and Jamie has been working a lot so stresses and lack of sleep have been taking their toll on all of us. Kian has become better with sleep though so at least that was going well.

The Worse

Yesterday afternoon we went to see our lactation consultant, Andrea Heron. I am still breastfeeding and hope to do so for at least until Kian's a year old. Lately the way he's sucking has been different - it's like he wants to put the whole breast in his mouth - so I thought that maybe my milk supply was down.

When I go to see Andrea I bring Kian ready to eat. Before I go into my appointment they weigh him naked and then I dress him and they weigh him with what clothes I wan to feed him in. Then I go in to see Andrea and after we are through with one breast she weighs him and sees how much food he’s getting. To make a long story short, Andrea said that Kian does not have a strong suck and since he doesn’t it has depleted my milk supply. He should have 4 ounces every feeding and he only gets about 2 from me. He was as happy as could be in the visit! It was odd because you would never know that he was still hungry or looking for more food!

So, right now I am working on getting my milk supply up. I am taking herbal supplements – 8 pills in all to swallow 3 times a day with meals – these herbs are known to increase milk supply. I am also using an SNS (Supplemental Nursing System) while I am feeding Kian. Here is what it looks like in use: http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:4I8dlhQsRPEJ:http://maternaloutreach.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/snsfeeder.jpg I put formula or my milk in the bottle part and there are two small tubes come from it to the nipple and as Kian sucks he will be encouraged to keep sucking because he will be getting food which will encourage my milk to kick in more. I am also pumping after every time I feed him because he doesn’t empty my breasts and that is what has caused the depletion. After I pump I give him another two ounces of formula or breast milk to help fill his belly.

Andrea will see us again next Wednesday and she seems to think that my supply will be back up by then. I certainly hope so. I really want to continue breastfeeding – not only is it cheap it’s healthy for me and gives Kian great immunities against illnesses.

The Pretty Gosh Darn Bad

We just got back from the ER about a half hour ago. Kian has been throwing up since about midnight last night and threw up after every time I fed him. Finally at 5AM we decided to head to the ER being afraid of dehydration and that something serious could be wrong. So, we got dressed quickly and piled into my car to find that we had a flat tire as we left the carport. Luckily we can all still fit in Jamie’s truck – not comfortably but it’s doable.

We were in the ER for about 3 and a half hours. The Dr. assessed Kian and said he didn’t think he was dehydrated but that we could give him some Pedialite to help him out. Of course Kian vomited that up – twice. He was vomiting bile by that time. Poor guy :( He had X-rays and a test of his blood sugar since his was so low at birth they wanted to rule anything related to that. Poor Kian was so tired he was falling asleep in my arms without a swaddle or a pacifier which he almost always needs to go to sleep. The Dr. thought there might have been an obstruction or something else wrong with Kian, but he didn’t present any other signs it being something serious and he didn’t want to put Kian at risk doing something more invasive – Jamie and I agreed. He talked to our pediatrician and he said that he had seen a lot of kids lately who had symptoms just like Kian’s and that if it didn’t get better by this afternoon I needed to call him.

We are relieved that Kian doesn’t have anything serious wrong with him, but it sure makes trying to get my milk supply up pretty difficult. We are just praying he will be better soon.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Wow! It's been a while!

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I posted a blog entry! Things have been pretty crazy for all of us this entire week. Jamie hasn’t really been home before midnight much and has had to work Saturdays which leaves me to care for Kian without much help from him. It’s been tough especially about two weeks ago when he wouldn’t sleep for more than 20 minutes and the only way I could get him to go to sleep was to lay down with him in our bed. The last two nights he has actually slept! It has been so nice to have my evenings back to clean (well, that’s not be nice lol) and get laundry and other things done that I can’t during the day when I have him. Kian unfortunately doesn’t entertain himself for very long so the last two weeks having pretty much no time to do anything has been rather stressful. I used to think Kian didn’t sleep long enough when he would wake every 4 hours and now I am happy to have the two he is giving me! I guess you can see a blessing once it’s been taken away.

Kian’s first Babysitter

Kian was watched by his first babysitter yesterday! I went to get my haircut and vote and my friend Christine watched him. I was so grateful! Jamie hasn’t been home enough or know what will be happening with his schedule that I couldn’t make an appointment over the last two months! My friend Christine offered to watch him - she’s a stay at home mom to her 15 month old son, Jacob. Thanks Christine!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Photos from Sears :)

Here are some photos that we had taken at Sears last month. I wanted to share them with all of you becuase they are so cute! (Thanks Gina for scanning them in and working on them so they turned out clear :)














And here are some photos that my Mom sent to me from when I was about 3 - 4 months old. I was surprised to see how much Kian looks like me as a baby! I think he looks so much like Jamie, but I guess he's got a little of me in him too :)


If I didn't know any better, I would think that this was Kian! but he hasn't got up on his hands like that yet! Wow!


Thank God for digital cameras these days or Kian would have a lot of blank stares at the camera just like this one I had on my first New Years Eve :)


Whose smile do you think that looks like! :)






Thursday, October 14, 2004

Lots of First since the last post!


Kian’s First Big Car Ride!


This past weekend we made the 3 hour and 15 minute drive to see my Aunt Lori, Uncle David and my cousin Maggie. We traveled at night (at the advice of a mom from Mom’s Group who made a car trip with her little one this way) and he slept the entire way in the car! I gave him a bath (like I do every night before bed) and got his p.j.s on and put him in the carseat and off we went :)

He did great at my Aunt’s house – although it was difficult to get him to sleep at night but then again it was a strange place, strange bed and everything. I think he did pretty well though :)

One thing that my Aunt said was that Kian was one of the best babies she has ever seen! It was hard to believe when she said that at first! Then she turned to Kian and said, “You’re making your mom a liar about you being a high needs baby!” hehe It was then that I realized that Kian has really come SO far. He is a totally different baby than what he was like a few months ago. I probably wouldn’t call him high needs anymore…he’s just a normal baby who just wants his Mommy a lot lol But I think that’s pretty typical behavior (although it would be nice if the kid let me put him down for more than a moment or two). I think that he’s come a long way. I just need to make sure I keep doing what I have been doing :) I have to say thank you my doula Kathy for all her help with Kian and her advice and to Dr. Sears who wrote a book that I have been using and defined Kian as high needs…it really helped me know what to do with him and how to help him.


Kian Knows His Name and has been making some fun sounds!

A few weeks ago Jamie came with me and Kian when I went to have my teeth cleaned. The whole office wanted to meet Kian as Jamie has had some dental work done recently and they were just dying to see him! As we were talking with the doctor and his assistant someone walked by and ask what his name was. I said, “Kian.” And Kian turned his head to look at me right after I said it! I thought that maybe it was a fluke but he seems to turn his head when I say his name sometimes. Someone also told me that they found on a baby website that babies can know their names at 5 months! So, I think Kian knows he’s Kian now :) Thank God I started using his name more instead of saying, Buddy, little man, sweet boy…and all those other things I like to call him :)

Kian has also been making some fun new sounds these last few weeks. He says “dadadadadada” “mamamamama” and now he screams and screeches but in a happy way hehe It’s pretty funny to be walking through the grocery store with a screeching baby but at least he’s happy! It has been worse :) At least people smile at us now in the store instead of trying to tell me what’s wrong with him.


Kian’s first time in the Nursery at Church!


Today I brought Kian to the nursery for the first time ever at church! He only lasted 15 minutes but it was a huge step for me! One of the ladies working the nursery that day (we rotate out people who work there every week and have a few who are paid) was in my bible study small group last year. She recognized me and was so happy to see Kian for the first time :) She said she would hold him the whole time he was there :) Anyway, she paged me to come and get Kian when he was getting upset (we have a neat little pager that vibrates when your child is upset so you know they need you). I talked to her a bit when I went to get Kian (of course he stopped crying the moment I took him) she has two daughters who are in high school and she was telling me how fast this time goes by. She said that she could remember when her little ones were in the nursery and it just seems like yesterday.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Teething Continued and the Earth Shakes!

The Teething Saga Continues :(

Kian is still teething…even though I am scared of his teeth coming because I am breastfeeding still I want those two little buggers to come in! hehe Today I had my weekly walk with Gina and her daughter Danielle. Afterwards I went to Walmart. Kian slept in the front carrier the whole time. He was really wiped out from the walk I think. When I got him to the car to put him in the car seat he started to cry and he didn’t stop the entire way home – which is about a 15-20 minute drive. My heart was breaking for him as I knew his teeth were bothering him. I have never felt so helpless! I just had to keep driving and trying to calm him with my voice while reaching back to put his binky back in his mouth – he would suck for a while and then he was back to screaming…that scream is a cry of pain :(

As I was driving I thought, all I can do is pray. So I started to pray that Kian would be soothed. That the pain would subside at least until I could hold him or give him Tylenol. It was so hard to listen to him scream – I actually had tears in my eyes for my poor little man. As I was driving and praying the thought popped into my mind that God must have felt something similar when Jesus was hanging on the cross. I know that what was happening with me and Kian was not even remotely on a scale as Jesus’ crucifixion, but I thought about how hard it was to see my own son in pain. Having a child really makes it all hit home – what God and even Mary had to watch when Jesus was on the cross. I cannot imagine the pain that Mary felt in her heart for her son.

Our First eARthQuAKe

Most of you probably know by now that we had an earthquake here on Tuesday, September 28th at 10:15AM. It was a 6.0 on the Richter scale. Jamie, Kian and I were all sitting in the waiting room of our doctor’s office when it happened. I actually felt dizzy and wondered why I felt so bad all of a sudden. It also felt like someone was banging on the back of my chair but it was against a wall so I thought I was just feeling things. Right before I experienced all those things a guy just suddenly ran out of the office! Jamie and I were talking about how funny that looked and wondered what was wrong with him! Then a lady behind the desk said, “Did you feel that?” I said, “I did!” It was then that I realized I wasn’t sick but that I had just experienced an earthquake! There was no damage at all where we live, nothing even moved off the walls or anything (which is good seeing there was pottery sitting above Jamie, Kian and me. God must have been watching out for us!

The funny thing is that Jamie never felt the earthquake even though he was sitting right next to me! hehe An hour or so later I met with a friend of mine for our weekly walk near the beach. I asked her if she thought it was big enough to be national and she said she didn’t think so. But when I got home from our walk and a trip to Walmart (the ride where Kian cried the whole way home) my mom had called and never even said hello she just said, “Are you guys ok?” It was then that I called my mother-in-law to make sure she knew we were alright. Then I got a call from my Aunt Lori who lives about 3.5 hours south of us congratulating me on going through my first earthquake! I think if threw was a greeting card for such an occasion, she probably would have sent it to me :) hehe She said that we are real Californians now that we have been through one :)

I am really glad that we got to me in one before a really big one hit. This way I can be prepared for where I need to go and what I need to look for to be safe in the event of an earthquake.

Speaking of that, there was an aftershock today (Thursday) at about noon that was 5.0! I didn’t feel it because I was walking up the stairs to the place where my Mom’s group was meeting. I didn’t feel it but Rebecca (the Mom who was hosting) said she felt it and told me to look at some small beads that were dangling off of a lamp across the room - they were swaying a bit from the movement.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as the news people are saying that they think a larger earthquake might hit in the next two weeks.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Back to the Grind for all of us!

We had a wonderful visit with Grandad and Nan this last week :) Kian did so wonderfully too considering that he is teething (I can see two little teeth trying to make their way out). We are looking forward to maybe seeing them again at the end of December :) We were so thankful they were able to come out and see Kian – especially because he’s so more interactive right now. Kian sure endured the visit with a lot of activity well!

Solids Update

After doing some research on starting solids, I have decided to delay starting Kian. I have read that starting it too early can cause allergies or digestive problems. Not to mention, I feel like Kian is watching my food just because he’s very curious about things now. He’s not mimicking me as I eat or wanting to put my food him his mouth. He’s more interested in colors and putting anything he can in his mouth :)

I am going to be watching how often he is eating though and seeing if he's hungry more often. I have read and heard that is one key sign that your baby is ready for solids. I surely don't want our little man to starve! Since all babies are different there is no reason for my to go by the amount of months he is (which it's suggested to wait until after 6 months) but to go by if I feel he's ready. Who knows, next week could be very different....we will just have to wait and see.

Teething!

Kian is cutting some teeth! You can see two little indentations in the center of his bottom gums. Dr. Bravo told us that he was teething – I noticed those bumps in his gums a few days before his appointment and Dr. Bravo just confirmed it. Kian is doing pretty well but it sure is hard to bear hearing him suddenly cry out in pain from being in a content state.

Paw Print :)

I picked up mine and Kian’s Paw Print yesterday! It is so cute! I will post a photo of it as soon as I can get one uploaded. It’s so precious! The print is my hand with Kian’s hand inside it and it says: Aug 2004 – Mommy and Kian. I can’t wait to show it off to those who come to visit!

I also got to see a Kathy again (our doula). She always comments on how much Kian looks like Jamie. It was so good to see her again. She is such an encouragement :)

This week

Well, we are back to our regular schedule this week. Mom’s group was on Monday, Tuesday Gina and I walked with our babies in the front carriers along the beach (that was wonderful!) and then sat on the beach and talked and played with our little ones, Thursday was Bible study (which Kian did wonderfully at! Luckily we met in the sanctuary where the cry room is so I got to go in there when he became a vocal and didn’t have to miss any of the message. Talk about a busy week! I am so blessed to be a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom), I would have it no other way. And I am so glad that there are a lot of things that I can do throughout the week with Kian to socialize him and keep me active as well.

Well, Kian is on one of his power naps after Bible study – so I think I might join him in a little R&R that us Mom’s get so little of :)

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Grandad and Nan Have Arrived :)

Jamie's Dad (Rod) and Step-Mom (Nancy) arrived on Sunday, September 12th in the afternoon from Lexington, KY. We went to McLintock's for steaks soon after they got here. Kian did wonderfully especially because we were out about an hour or two past his bed time! He had several night wakings that night but I figured that was to be expected with a visit from people he is meeting for the first time and being out so late.

Monday, September 13th

Kian had a Dr.'s appointment with Dr. Bravo. Dr. Bravo said that Kian is doing very well! His weight was 11lbs. 12 oz. (although the nurse wrote that down wrong on the sheet we bring home with us - she wrote that he was 11lbs. 2oz.). I have calculated that the weight that he really is lies in the 10th percentile (the nurse marked the wrong one as being in the 5%). Dr. Bravo told us that he was not concerned at all because I am a short person and Kian just might be short as well. I sure hope he's not too short! Nancy works is a dietitian and works in the NICU at a hospital in Lexington said that he is definitely growing well according to her calculations as for weight he gains per day - and she used the 11lbs. 2oz. number. Having another person confirm it was encouraging :) Kian has chub on his legs and he's certainly not skin and bones so I feel confident in what the Dr. thinks as well - he called the weight to my attention so that I would not be alarmed. I might even give a call over to the office to have Kian reweighed to make sure that it's all correct in his charts.

We were given the green light to start solids if we think he's ready. I have really been watching for signs that he is interested in my food. He usually will look at it as I always bounce him on my knee as I eat (in public as least). I'm not too sure if he's very interested in it yet, but today he kind of made me feel like he really might be ready after he grabbed the container my hamburger was in and tried to put it in his mouth! I figure it doesn't hurt to try it out :)

After Kian's appointment we met up with Grandad and Nan and went to Splash Cafe for some clam chowder (they had chowder and I had a fish taco as I thought that the chowder might be too much dairy for Kian right now). Then we took a walk on the pier. Jamie had Kian in the frontcarrier for the first time. And Kian really liked it! He was facing out as Jamie walked. He really liked looking around :) It also gave my back a break until he was ready for a little nap...he will usually take a nap in it front facing me with a blanket over his head to keep out stimulus.

After our walk on Pismo Pier and around at the shops in town, we decided to go to Morro Bay and look around a bit. Boy was it cold there! The marine layer had come in! I was so glad that I had a sweatshirt and pants in Kian's diaper bag for him. Mommy had to buy a sweatshirt to keep warm! Kian did great as Grandad held him as we walked from place to place :) I was so glad that Kian did so well with someone else holding him. He gets better and better all the time!

There is an Aquarium in Morro Bay that has rescued sea lions and otters from the area. You pay $2 to go in and .50 for a bag of fish to throw to the animals. They were so cute! Kian got scared at the noise and splashing though :( I had to take him from Grandad to calm him down - I just brought him into the next room. Those sea lions and otters were so cute though :) Jamie and Nan finished feeding them and they did tricks for them! After that we had dinner in Morro Bay - we all had fish and chips and the fish was fresh fish that was probably caught and brought right into Morro Bay. Boy was that good!

Kian feel asleep on the way back home and woke up soon after I laid him in his crib. So I got him ready for bed (quickly as he was crying from how tired he was). He was out from about 8ish until 4AM! I was amazed that he slept that long without needing me to go in there to do anything for him! That was 8 hours! At 4 I brought him to bed with me to feed him and we both fell asleep. He slept so soundly he even missed his normal 8AM waking! Jamie and I got up to get ready for the day and Kian just slept a bit more.

Tuesday, Septeember 14th

We went to Hearst Castle today! That place is so amazing! We ended up spending the whole day there. We ate lunch when we arrived - a hamburger made of Hearst beef that is raised right there on the grounds - yum :) The tour was about 2 hours long! Kian did great! He took a little nap and at one point I had to get out a bottle that I had pumped for him to tide him over until we could get somewhere to feed him. He did so well and people commented on how he was a "good" baby :) It was nice to hear that for a change from people staring and telling me what was wrong with him.

Kian did have a melt down in the car as we were going to stop in a little town called Cambria for some dinner and shopping. We all thought it would be best to go back to our place and just order pizzas. So that's what we did :) We had Woodstock's Pizza and salad - yum :) Thankfully Kian took a short cat nap which was just long enough for me to be able to eat without him bouncing on my knee :)

Kian is doing so WELL with all the new stuff that is going on this week. I am so proud of him :) He sure does love spending time with Grandad and Nan :)

Kian has done very well these last few days. Grandad has held him a lot of the time and he has responded really well to that :) He actually slept for and 8 hour stretch last night and only woke up to eat and was completely out until about 9ish (when he is usually up at 8). He was wiped out from I think the shots and from all the different stuff we were doing yesterday. We went to Pismo to Splash Cafe and then went to Morro Bay to do some shopping and had some fresh fish :) Right now Jamie is giving them a tour of Oddworld and Kian is sleeping so I have a few moments to myself....wow is it nice :)

Friday, September 10, 2004

Kian's First Beach, First Actual Nap and First Poop on Tape hehe

Kian's First Time on the Beach

This week was SO hot! Tuesday was the hottest day of all and thank God me and Gina decided not to walk but to still get together and hang out at the beach. In San Luis Obispo the temp was record breaking at 104! Boy, I am glad we weren't home because we don't have air conditioning and we would have roasted! Anyway, me and Gina met up at Avila Beach, had some lunch and sat on a blanket on the beach for a few hours. It was probalby aobut 20 degrees cooler sitting on the beach! Kian was kind of cranky but almost as soon as we hit the beach he calmed down. We sat in the shade underneath the pier.

It’s amazing what being on the beach will do to you. The air smells so good and the sound of the waves breaking is amazing. I can’t wait until we can take Kian out next year and he can play in the sand :)

Here is a photo of Kian with a smile behind that binky :)


Here's Danielle sitting up (she's really sitting in a hole her mom dug in the sand to help her out. Isn't she cute! (thanks Gina, I sole the one of Danielle from your blog - I hope you don't mind! :)



Longer naps!

Well, yesterday I went to Bible study for hte first time - it starts at 9:15ish which is early for us. He did well during the worship, speaker and announcement times but when we went to our small groups he had a fit! (He's been having problems nursing in public which I don't know if it's me maybe feeling uncomfortable or if it's him feeling distracted...) Then after group ended (which I missed the entire group time) we all left for the day and of course he was smiley guy then lol So I called Jamie to see if he wanted to have lunch with us since our church is downtown and close to where he works. So I go to meet Jamie and we pick a place to eat. Kian started to fuss so I go him out of his stroller and as I was sitting down I bumped his leg on the table and he started crying. He wasn't hurt, I think it scared him. Anyway, we had to leave because he was so disturbing to everyone...immediately when the stroller started moving he was fine. So we sat on a bench and I ate part of my wrap as Jamie entertained Kian. Then I saw a melt down was on the way so I thought I better get moving again. (poor Jamie - I'm not sure if he will meet us for lunch again! lol) The whole way back to the car Kian wailed and the whole way home too. When I got home I was FINALLY able to get him to latch on and eat! After he ate he went down for a nap - a 3 HOUR nap! He is a 20 minute napper! I actually had to check on him to make sure that he was still alive! LOL I go SO much done when he went down (which is good because I had some cleaning to do before Jamie’s dad and step-mom arrive on Sunday :)

I wasn't sure if he was napping longer because I had taken him to a forgein place in the morning for a few hours (which he didn't respond to well). But this afternoon he napped for an hour (and only an hour thanks to a big dump truck across the street doing some work - I wonder if he would have slept longer if it weren't for that blasted truck! Anyway, I am amazed! Especially because it was very sudden!

First Poop Caught on Tape

Today Kian and I were having a good time laughing with one another. He was so giggly today! He was practically laughing at whatever I said! One thing that I reazlied that he laughs a lot at is if I try to call Allie by saying in a high pitched voice, “Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.” He giggles every time I say it! hehe

Anyway, I thought that it would be a good time to get some footage of him with our video camera. I had him sitting in his car seat as I made silly sounds and he giggled behind all the hiccups he was having :) Then all of a sudden his face seemed really concentrated and I said out loud, “Are you pooping?” (like he could answer me hehe) So I turned off the camera and check and sure enough he had! He’s usually a once a week pooper (yeah, that’s a HUGE diaper to change) and he had pooped just two days before! So I took him to his room and changed him and he just started giggling at me again! lol So I got the camera again and said how I had caught the poop in process on tape LOL I thought that was pretty funny :)

Friday, September 03, 2004

A Walk does a Crank Good :)

Kian was a bear today - he was so fussy...he was fed, changed, not cold or hot, he just woke up from a nap....I didn't know what else to do with him! So, I took him outside on our balcony and he was quietly looking at the trees outside. Then I had a great idea....I know that when I have a hard day with Kian I like to go for a walk and I feel much better. So, I walked up to Staples to do a few things for the warranty company and then got lunch at a place nearby to bring home. I had THREE people tell me how cute he was, how good natured he is and he had smiles for all of them :) There were two ladies at the restaurant that could not stop talking about how long his eyelashes are, how cute he was...and of course he was all smiles :) He is getting so much better :) We have been home for a short period of time now and he's enjoying his Leap Frog Gym as I type this....it's nice to have my arms free :)

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Little Laughs and Parenting Style

Rolling Over Again
Kian rolled over again yesterday. TWICE! The first time he ever rolled it was to his right and yesterday both rolls were to his left! He looks like he might start rolling front to back as well! I guess we will have to wait and see...for now I am being so careful when I put him down - if I need to walk away I put him somewhere he won't hurt himself.

Little Laughter
Kian has been laughing a lot lately! It actually sends me into laughter to hear him laugh. He will laugh so much sometimes that he gets the hiccups! He is so cute :)

Kian Gets Better and Better All the Time...
I am amazed at the progress that Kian has been making over the last few months. I was thinking back today about how much he used to cry and how much he cries now. He still is pretty particular about things and scares easy but he doesn't cry nearly as much. He also has so many more happy periods. People are actually telling me now how cute he is! :) Before people would either make comments or not say anything at all besides ask his age...he's just a happy little man. He does have his moments but not near as much anymore. I feel like part of it is me taking him into different environments and helping him cope as well as being responsive to his cries.

Parenting Style
I actually discovered (kind of by accident) that some of the things I have been doing fall under a category of parenting call Attachment Parenting. Here is a description of AP I took from a website: "The term, "attachment parenting", was conceived by pediatrician William Sears and his wife Martha, to describe a highly responsive, attentive style of caring for a child. Attachment parenting promotes physical and emotional closeness between parent and child through what the Sears refer to as the "Baby B's." The Baby B's are bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedsharing and boundary building."

"Attachment parenting advocates encourage parents to hold their baby often in the early sensitive weeks of life to foster bonding. Breastfeeding is promoted because it enhances the mother's natural instincts to respond to her baby through physical closeness, hormonal influences and promotion of attentiveness. Both babywearing, the practice of carrying the baby on the parents' body with an infant carrier or sling, and bedsharing, parents and babies sleeping in the same bed, provide additional opportunities for closeness. Boundary building is a discipline philosophy that entails responding to the genuine, age appropriate needs of the child and using gentle guidance. All of the Baby B's are aimed at promoting a trusting, intuitive relationship between parents and baby through the physical and emotional closeness that makes it easier to know and appropriately respond to the baby's needs. While some people might see the Baby B's as a set of rules they must follow, they are just recommended tools that can and should be individualized for each family and parenting situation."

If you would like to read more here is a link to that article: http://www.parentsplace.com/babies/behavior/articles/0,10335,166650_115486,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=10506657

The great thing about AP is that there are no rules...bascially just going on your motherly instinct to care for your baby. We do all of the B's to a certain extent but only what we feel suits our family. I had actually been doing a lot of the things suggested already but had no idea there was a term for it. I actually feel like going on my instincts and doing AP has really helped Kian flourish.

Along with AP we have decided to not make Kian "cry it out" to go to sleep and have been doing things suggested in the book No-Cry Sleep Solution. It has been working! Tonight Kian went down without any crying and virutally no rocking! I am amazed at how quickly he is learning that he can sleep without me :) It actually worked so well that Kian only woke up once in the night on Monday! He slept for two stints of 5 hours each! I was so excited to hear him cooing Monday morning at 8AM - not waking up crying or anything but as happy as a lark :)

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Pictures from Pregnancy

I have been wanting to get some photos of the last day of my pregnancy on the web. When I was in labor my friend Karma was here visiting us and she took some photos. I am still shocked as to how big I was then! Boy, do I look tired! I had been having contractions every hour for over a day at this point - both Jamie and I had no sleep because the contractions would wake me right out of sleep and he would help me as I labored through them. Here are those photos :) (Thanks Karma for emailing them to us :) The last one is of me and Karma - how special that she was here right before we left for the hospital :)











Friday, August 20, 2004

Kian Rolled Over!

Kian was having tummy time today on his tummy time mat. He was staring at the bright colors on the mat and was kinda wobbling to one side. I thought that he might be on his way to turning over on his back. After few more wobbles he was on his back! I couldn't believe it! I immediately called Jamie to tell him the news :) I am so glad that he rolled over - he actually hates tummy time so I was thinking it would roll over later than others. But he did it! Hopefully I will be able to catch him on camera sometime.

Kian's Eye Color

Kian's eye color seems to be changing. His eyes are now a grayish- blue. I am wondering if he's going to get the Kesler brown eyes. Guess we might find out soon!

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Move to Crib, Mom's Class, Personality Update

Kian's Move to His Crib

Kian is moved into his room and slept in his crib for the first time last night. (Thanks to a little encouragement from Daddy, Mommy decided to give it a try.) I was worried he would get scared when he woke up in there - as he has once before - but he did great last night. Now if I can only get him back to sleeping straight through 6 hours again then I will be happy :) Right now he's sleeping for four hours then up again two hours later and then again two hours later. The two hour intervals is that he can't get himself back to sleep. I just go in there, reswaddle him and give him a pacifier and he's out. I have been thinking of finding a lovey for him (something that he will find comfort in the middle of the night and not need me to help him get back to sleep). I haven't chosen one yet, but I am definitely working on that one. I am also reading a book called the No-Cry Sleep Solution and once I feel like I have a handle on what Kian needs me to do to help him learn to sleep longer then I will be working with him more on it.

Cold Again?!?! Teething?!?!

Kian's voice turned horse again last night. I don't really know if he has a cold or if he's teething. I can't see anything white on his gums...but I guess it could be the start of the teeth moving. He seems to be pretty content for the most part. I guess we will have to wait and see what will happen :)

New Mommies Group

Kian and I are attending a new Mommies group on Monday afternoons. The one that we were taking with Kathy ended and some moms decided to continue on our own. I sure am glad that we did because it's so good to connect with other moms who have babies the same age.

At my last Mom's group with Kathy (who was our doula, child birth instructor and facilitator of my Mom's group) I got a photo of Kian and Kian since we didn't have one we would be able to show him (the only other photo we have of her is of me pushing - not something I will share with anyone but Jamie lol), but I wanted Kian to know what she looked like she she said so many wonderful things to him in the letter that she wrote for him after he was born.


Also, at the last group Kian and I had our hand prints made. Kathy has a lady who does the prints locally come in and do them for a group of moms who are interested. You could choose from his hand, foot, both hands and feet, one hand, one foot, or you could choose to have your hand print with his inside. We chose to have our prints done together (Jamie thought it was really neat too). I figured that it will be a time that I will remember for the rest of my life and I will be in awe when Kian is about 16 and his hand will completely swallow mine :) We will have the handprints back to us the last week of September and I will take a photo of it when we get it back.

The new class was held for the first time on Monday. The class is pretty much made up of moms that were in lamaze classes together. We lined up our babies on the couch and here's the outcome:


From left to right: Tiffany, Liliana, Kian, Alex, and Danielle

Notice whose the only one crying in the picture - I told the Mom's that it would only capture what he's like a lot of the time anyway hehe I think that being swished with all those other babies was something foreign to him and he didn't like it very much. My friend Gina (Danielle's Mom) is a pro at doing thing with photos and such on the computer and I jokingly replied to her email of this photo by saying she should Photoshop a happy smile onto Kian's face - she said she was up for the challenge and replied with this photo:

Pretty good for a fake smile, huh!?!?! hehe


Personality Update

Kian is getting better and better as the weeks go by. His personality is definitely a challenge - it's especially hard when we are in public and people have to poke their noses and say "oh, he's hungry" when he just ate before we left the house or "he's colicky" no he's not...he's been in this car seat for a half hour now and he's tired wouldn't you cry too - especially when you are tired... I can tell you from having a challenging child I will NEVER say anything to some strange mother about what is wrong with her child - although I might pat her on the back and tell her that it does get better and I am living proof lol

I have also been encouraged by some moms in my group this week. They told me about how much Kian has progressed into being more content and happy. The first time we were at Mom's group he cried the entire time - one mom even confessed today that she secretly hoped we wouldn't be at group because Kian cried so much (this is coming from a mom with what seems to be the easiest baby in the world - next to Danielle that is!). This mom also told me that she can see every week how Kian is getting better and better with things. It also helps that Kian has lots of big smiles for everyone when he is having a content period. But when he has his meltdowns - there's not return from the edge sometimes.

At my last Mom's group Kathy told me that her first born - her daughter was also a "high needs" baby and she was so bad that people thought her and her husband would never have another baby! (They had two more after her by the way.) Kathy told me she wished that the kinds of things that are out there now - techniques for calming and just knowing what to do with a child who have a difficult personality - were at her fingertips when she was dealing with her daughter. I feel blessed to have books and videos to consult in how to calm him and to know how to deal with them. Her daughter is now a wonderful woman who works with Focus on the Family and has a great relationship with her mom. But Kathy confessed that her daughter was high needs until she was about 5 years old - that was kind of discouraging but at least I know there is hope for Kian to be a wonderful person when he grows up.

The difficult thing about having a high needs child is that I really don't have anyone to connect with on that issue in our group. One mom even said that I am probably one of the few moms that actually get out with their babies when they are a high needs child. I honestly don't think I could handle just staying at home with a crying child all the time - and he needs to socialize as well. One thing that is difficult for me at moms group is that, some things that Mom's do with their babies I cannot do with Kian - like crying it out - I tried just letting him cry for 5 - 10 minutes and he was BALLISTIC. I have a VERY hard time calming him down. I have decided that I need to continue to follow what my heart is telling me to do - and I am so glad that Kathy has encouraged us to do that. She says that if your instincts as a mom are telling you that this is not right, then it probably isn't. Kian is such a different from the normal, run-of-the-mill babies that for me to do something that works for one mom might not work for us. I dream of the day that I can put Kian in a shopping cart without a meltdown - now I shop with him in the front carrier because he will fall asleep being close to me and from the movement.

Life with a high needs child is sure difficult...but God has given me the ability to view this as what is normal for Kian and I have to learn to help him cope and just deal with it. God made him who he is and he's a special guy who needs special attention. My friend Gina said that I should take Kian's temperament as a complement from God because He will never give us more than we can handle. That is so true that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and I guess I'm definitely blessed with a wonderful, beautiful baby boy who I love dearly. As for a compliment from God, I will have to have a talk with Him when and if we decide to do this again LOL



Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Kian's Personality and Update on His Cold

Kian's Supersensativity is Getting Better (Even Despite a Cold!)

I am loving being a Mommy and it gets better as time goes on :) As I have said in previous posts, Kian is what they call a high-needs baby. His personality or temperament is one that requires a lot more attention then other babies (believe me I have seen it in my mom's group how much more needy he is). After finding out he was a Supersenative baby who doesn't adjust well to new environments and scares easy (even just picking him up from the changing table without letting him know will scare him) has really helped me and Jamie learn how to help him out. One very encouraging thing that the leader of my mom's group told me was that her daughter was also a high-needs baby. She told me her daughter would scream so much that everyone thought that she would never have another baby! She also told me that she wishes she had the tools and knowledge that we have out there now to help babies cope with adjusting to life outside the womb along with their personality. She encouraged me also by telling me how wonderful her daughter is and how great of a relationship they have (her daughter is in her early 20's).

Kian's getting better and better everyday though. Yesterday was his first trip to the grocery without crying! And today we went out for a bit (had to pick up my rings from being resized) and I had him in the stroller for about a hour for shopping in the area and no crying again! He actually smiled the entire time we were out! I thought I had someone else's child with me! He usually gets upset in new situations but he was fine as long as he saw my face every once in a while and could play with the links-a-doos I attached to his car seat. The stroller part is amazing because he always cries on our walks and always has to be in the front carrier when I go grocery shopping or head to Walmart. I might just be able to keep him in his car seat when we go in the store (that would be very nice on Mommy's back).


Update on Kian's Cold

Kian does still have a cold :( The poor little guy didn't want me to put him down at all Saturday so Jamie and I decided that church wasn't a good idea. We spend most of the time in the cry room and I wouldn't have liked it if someone brought their sick child in the cry room so I thought it was best we stay home. I have brought him into the bathroom and sat him in his bouncer when I showered to help to clear out the congestion and that has really helped a lot. He sure does hate that bulb syringe! I think he might have nightmares about it when he's older! hehe

Saturday, August 07, 2004

Kian has his first cold :(

Last night, at about 5ish, I realized that Kian could be sick. His voice sounded like he had a frog in his throat. I thought it would go away as the day went on. He didn't do much cooing yesterday but when he did later on I noticed that he still sounded froggy. It was too late to call the Dr. by then. He seemed to be fine other than a little more fussy than normal at times and has a bit of a cough. I did take his temperature and it was normal. I figured he would be fine until today.

So I called the Dr. today and they said that there wasn’t anything that they could do. That I could just give him Tylenol, make sure his nose is clear and bring him into a steamy shower if he gets stuffed up. She also asked if Kian was breastfed and I told her he was…she said that breastfed babies have great immunities and he should get over this fairly quickly, so that gave me a little more comfort – hopefully he will get over it soon. (especially before Tuesday – our walking day!).

The nurse also said that he could be TEETHING! Yep! She said that they can start teething between 2-4 months. I looked and felt for signs of teeth poking through and didn’t see any...he loves to suck and gnaw on his hand or grab mine and stick it in his mouth and bite and suck….but that’s kind of his normal behavior. I did give him some Tylenol and have been trying to keep up my patience with him and when he cries suddenly. I guess it doesn't help that he does have some gas today too (contributing to sudden cries that stop once he toots).

Kian is REALLY Growing!

It seems that Kian is just fitting into his 3-6 month clothing - well most of it. Some of it is still a little big on him. He's not a chunky baby and sometimes I think some of the clothes he has are made for chunks hehe I just started dressing him in all 3-6 month clothing this week! I was going to buy some more things for him but I think I might hold off. The only thing he needs is light fabric sleepers - it gets cold here at night and he kicks his covers off during the night a lot of times, but I also want to make sure he doesn't get too hot.

Also, I weighed him at the last Mommies Group that I was at (it's held in an area in my OB's office) so there is a scale there. I weighed myself with him and then without him. He weighs 11 lbs. 1 oz. as of Wednesday (I won't say how much Mommy weighed though although it was a pound less than last week :).

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

He's Growing So Much!

Kian's Moving - Well, to His Crib hehe
Jamie and I are starting to transition Kian to his crib. I put him down for naps in there so he gets used to waking up in a new place. We used to always put him down in the Pack 'N Play in the living room or in his bassinet next to our bed. He loves to look at the Noah's Ark bumper pad on his crib after he wakes up - so at least I know he will be entertained for a bit before he cries for me to come and get him :)

Anyway, earlier today I was looking at Kian's bassinet and it says that babies should only be in there until they are 15lbs or 3 months old - whichever comes first. Kian will be 3 months on Sunday. I have to admit that I kind of have been dragging my feet a bit in moving Kian into his room. I want him close to me so I can check in on him and make sure he's still breathing and it's also really easy to feed him at 4AM and then again at 6AM when he's hungry (I usually feed him laying down in bed a the 6AM feeding so he will go back to sleep with little effort.)

Just now I was feeding Kian before he goes down for what is hopefully his 6 hour sleep stretch (crosses fingers) and I was thinking about having to move him away from me. I was thinking about the day that Jamie put the bassinet together and how it sat waiting for him to come home from the hospital for several weeks before he was even born. I thought about him often while that bassinet laid empty - I couldn't wait until he would come home to fill it. As time has gone one he's been able to put both of his hands on the sides of the bassinet and he's almost the entire length of it now. He was so sleepy when we brought him home...Now he's so awake and alert. It's amazing how many changes have occurred in just the short 3 months that he has been here. He's already stole my heart!

Here are some comparative photos of Kian from when he was first born to now:




Last Mommies Group with Kathy
Tomorrow is our last Mommies Group with Kathy as the leader. We will then be graduating and moving to a group with other Mommies who have graduated. Our time with Kathy has been amazing, I have really looked forward to her insight every group and I know I am going to miss her. Kathy was also our doula. She will hold a special place in both mine and Jamie's hearts because of all the love and support she gave us throughout the labor and even before in our childbirth classes that she lead. She is truly an amazing woman!

What is kind of strange is that all the moms and babies that are coming in are brand new - one a few weeks ago was only 1o days old! Heck, I was pretty much just getting settled at home from my ordeal a the hospital at that point! Kian is the oldest one in class now so I am now the veteran Mommy - it's kinda strange but neat to hear concerns and questions that I too had when Kian was a little man. Now that I have been there, done that I can pass on some of my advice to these ladies :)

Little Ones Everywhere!!!!
It is unbelievable the amount of friends who are now expecting!

Two of my old EDGE Corps partners are having little ones in the next few months! Lindsay and her husband Greg are expecting their second baby, a girl, this month. Her name is Abigail Grace. Her brother is about 18 months so Lindsay will have her hands full! hehe Chris and his wife Leigh Anne are expecting a little boy in September. They haven't settled on a name yet but it doesn't really matter because he'll be called little Ruf anyway ;) (Chris' last name is Rufener.)

One of the girl that I met with at Cal Poly is expecting! She announced it last month! I was so excited for her. Ann and Wes Cooley will have little BC (Baby Cooley) sometime in December or January (I think).

There also will be a new little Inhabitant at Oddworld too! One of Jamie's co-workers is expecting in October. Kian and I had lunch with her the other day - she has also hired Kathy as her doula so of course we had to talk about that ;) Talk about a flood of memories coming back from being pregnant! She looked very cute with her little belly :)

Growth Spurt
Kian has hit another growth spurt. He seems to be right on time with them - he should have one around 12 weeks and he was 12 weeks on Saturday. Basically what a growth spurt means is that he eats more frequently - today he ate almost every hour! He was also really tired. He is actually sleeping right now (thank God! He's been so needy lately that I have barely had time to do anything but the basics around the house and for myself). I am hoping that the growth spurt doesn't last too long - thankfully I did all my shopping on Monday! Growth spurts can last for up to a week! Thank God it's only that long because he was up again every 3 hours last night (talk about a sleepy Mommy).

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Yipee!

Bottle Feeding!

Kian took his first bottle (really ate from it) since he was having breastmilk and/or formula the first few weeks of his life!  I pumped this morning (only 2 oz.) because we were going on a walk and Kian has refused to nurse after my walks due to probably the lactic acid in my milk.  I guess it makes it taste bad.  Anyway, I thought I would try the bottle today with him.  Sometimes I would pump and ask Jamie to give him his bottle, but he would not drink from it.  He would just chew on the nipple and then start to cry.  I was starting to worry that he wouldn't take a bottle again and Jamie and I would never be able to leave him with a sitter more than an hour and half, but he took this one today!  When we got home he was actually content for once so I left him in his car seat and warmed up the bottle.  I fed it to him in the car seat - he even seemed he wanted more!  So, I guess I will start pumping more  :)  I am just so excited that he took the bottle  :)

Our Walk
 
Today Gina and I went for a walk.  Kian was pretty fussy and so was her daughter Danielle.  Danielle ended up in her front carrier and before long I was getting Kian's out too.  They both were content for the most part after that!  The funny thing is that both of us were pushing strollers and carrying our babies!  I am sure we were quite a seen to the runners, walkers and joggers going past us on the trail  hehe  Being a Mom as made me realize that I am willing to do anything that will work to keep Kian happy - even if it means looking pretty silly to others  :)


Saturday, July 24, 2004

Kian's First Poker Night

Lactose Intolerance Continues  GRRRR.....
 
Today was a rough day for our little man.  I thought that it might be ok for me to have a cheese pizza as a late night snack with Jamie, but Kian was spitting up and gassy today so I am pretty much cutting cheese out of my diet for sure  :(  That's a very sad thing for someone who grew up in Wisconsin! I tried it last night because Jamie doesn't seem to have a problem with the pizza but I guess little Kian does....I wonder if Trader Joe's makes a soy cheese pizza  LOL!

Kian's First Poker Night
 
Tonight Jamie and I went over to our friend Steve and Lisa's for another BBQ (they were our gracious hosts on the 4th of July).  Almost right after we arrived Kian was getting cranky and sleepy so I rocked him to sleep and he slept for almost 2 hours!  Yeah!  He actually didn't have much of a nap at all today because of the gas he had and other things that made him fussy and not sleep.  What actually woke him up was the roar of laughter from an unbelievable hand - almost immediately after the laughter happened I walked into the room where Kian was and found the poor little guy crying.  I fed him, changed him and we went into the room where everyone was.  He actually did very well!  He didn't really fuss once!  I was so surprised!  It seems that he is moving leaps and bounds since I posted yesterday about him being Supersensative.  hehe  I will take what I can get from him  :)

Music

I have found a way that helps to soothe Kian at night or when he's a bit fussy....music  :)  At the baby shower my Bible study had for me, some ladies gave me some CD's.  One is a Baby Hymns CD and the other is a Silly Songs CD that has BINGO and other songs like that.  He loves to listen to them and especially when I sing them to him  :) 

He also LOVES this Celtic Lullaby CD that I bought right after we found out we were pregnant.  I play that at night when I am getting him ready for bed and/or for a bath.  It really seems to soothe him.  I'm not sure if it's because of the different instruments or if it's because the words are all in Gaelic or both.  One thing is for sure, I will be playing it for him often - who knows he might start speaking some Gaelic!  hehe


Friday, July 23, 2004

Phew! What a week!

I have been meaning to make an entry into my blog this entire week, but it's been a tough one for Kian and for Mommy.  My posts below will pretty much explain it all.
 
"High Needs" Baby
 
Most of you probably don't know this, but Kian is what is lovingly called a "high-need" baby.  It pretty much means he's a very fussy little man.  I just ordered Dr. Sear's book called The Baby Book and I have been reading the Fussy/Colicky chapter when I can.  Last night I read that Kian is what is defined as an Supersensative.  When I read the description, I thought immediately of Kian.  In a nut shell is says that Supersensative babies are very aware of their environment and are easily bothered by changes in their secure and predictable environment and don't accept alternatives.  They startle easily during the day (totally Kian!) and settle poorly at night (he is definitely fussy from 7PM on).  They also form deep attachments to their caregivers which causes problems when they have sitters (lovely!) .  One positive thing is that when these children are older, they are more capable of forming deeper and more intimate relationships. 

Kian is getting a bit better with his Supersensativity, but I really wonder if it will ever fully go away.  When we go to my Mom's class he cries pretty much the entire time.  It wasn't until we bought the DVD The Happiest Baby on the Block and did the techniques from it that Jamie and I were given any peace from his cries - which were worse and non-stop in public.  

When Kian and I  went to class on Wednesday, he actually had a period where he was talking to me!  I was actually shocked - and to be honest some of the Moms at group were too!  Later on he needed me to calm him down but at least he's showing signs of getting better. 

Naps - Kian hasn't figured them out yet

That's right, he will only nap for 20 minutes at a time.  Talk about maddening for a Mommy with a High- Needs child!  Kian's schedule goes pretty much like this:  nurse, awake for a period (sometimes I can put him somewhere for other entertainment - but not too long to avoid overstimulation), he gets fussy from being tired, I swaddle him and rock him while giggling him, shushing him, and rocking him while he sucks on his pacifier, I lay him down as soon as I think he's really asleep, then he's up 20 minutes later and here we go again.

I bought another book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution and I am hoping to put some of that into practice during the day when he won't sleep well.  The book is written by a mom who has four children and she wanted to lovingly put them to sleep.  She did a lot of research and tried them out on her children as well as a lot of other parents in many different life situations to see who things were working.  It was amazing to see that it working within a month or a month and a half of trying her suggestions and finding out what works best for your baby.

The only thing I am concerned about it messing him up in terms of him sleeping through the night - right now he sleeps for a 6 hour stretch and I really don't want him to revert back to getting up every 2-3 hours.  I am so thankful for that 6 hour stretch though! 

I have emailed the author of the book for some guidance as the book is mainly for parents whose babies don't sleep through the night at all.  She has some suggestions for kids who nap about 20 minutes, but I'm not sure if he's too young or will respond with shorter night sleeping.  We will have to see what she says  :) 

No Milk Products for Mommy

Last weekend I discovered that little Kian is lactose intolerent just like his Daddy (something I was praying he wouldn't inherit).  Last weekend I decided to have a bowl of ice cream with caramel topping (since chocolate is something Kian proved to me he didn't like a few days earlier).  The next day Kian was having a lot of gas pain.  Since the ice cream was the only thing I really did differently, I have put a hold on a lot of dairy products.  It's not worth having our little man in so much pain.  Thank God for Milicon drops!  They really helped him out a lot.  One good thing about living in California is that there is a frozen yogurt place that has yogurt that is lactose free - Yippee!  I am thinking we might have to go there this weekend for a try  :)   

Don't Get Me Wrong - I Love My Little Man

I know that this post has mainly been negative about our little guy...Despite his fussiness and not being able to eat certain foods for the next 1o months or so, I love our little man.  He definitely is a joy in my life and I don't know what I would do without him.  It's honestly hard to imagine him not being here just a few months ago!  I live to see every smile he has and all his cooing  :)  God sure did plan things out right to help the sleepless nights and the demand of a little baby be enjoyable for those precious moments.

I was just thinking today about how he's growing up so fast.  He's starting to wear some of his 3-6 month clothing already!  It's exciting to see the little person that he's becoming, but it's sad to see his smallness leave - I cherish every moment that I have rocking him and holding him (well, almost every  ;)  I sure do love him a lot! 

 






Thursday, July 15, 2004

Good News!

Jamie passed the stone late this morning  :)  We also saw our family doctor and he said that they would send off the stone for testing.  Jamie is feeling a lot better now.  The doctor removed the fentenol patch and Jamie is now coming off of his last dose of vicodin so he's pretty sleepy right now.  Boy are we both glad it's all over with!
 
Thanks to everyone who was praying - we really appreciate it!

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

The Eventful Week has a Trip to the ER

Don't worry, Kian is ok. We all were in the ER pretty much all night last night with Jamie having severe pain from kidney stones. At about 2AM we ended up all loading into the car to go to the ER. It was strange walking throught ER entrance where I entered that same hospital in the wee hours of the morning in labor about 9.5 weeks ago! This time Jamie was the one in pain. Jamie got some pain meds and fluids. We were there until about 3AM and were discharged with some scripts and samples to take at home for pain. He continued to have pain at home and at about 4:15AM he said the pain stuff they gave him wasn’t working so I called the ER and they said to bring him right in. So, we loaded Kian back into the car – I had to wake him up for the second time that night– and went back to the ER where they gave Jamie some better pain meds and CT Scan to make sure everything was ok. They sent us home at about 7AM with a patch on Jamie’s arm that will give him pain meds for the next 72 hours. Needless to say Jamie is pretty sleepy from the all the meds he is taking but at least he's not in a lot of pain. At least Kian slept through the whole thing in the ER and I have to say that the Kiddopotamus really saved us (thanks for loaning it to us Christine and Josh!). It’s a blanket that you can swaddle your child and strap them into their car seat with it on. At least I didn’t have to wake him up at all the second time we went to the ER. Phew! What a day!

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

An Eventful Week and it's not even over yet!

Lamaze Class Reunion and Sleeping longer!

Sunday was our Lamaze Class reunion! It was so neat to see all the parents as well as the babies that we all were preparing for :) Unfortunately we forgot our camera but our friends Gina and Clay took some with their digital camera and they are going to share them with us. Kathy was also at the reunion - Kathy was the childbirth educator as well as our doula - but she had to leave soon after we arrived so she could help a mom with her labor...boy is she a busy lady! :) We were all so blessed to have her as our educator and some of us even had her as our Doula. She is such a special person.

Here is a picture from the reunion. To the right of me is Gina and Danielle :)
.

My birth story definately was the drama for the evening. Some people couldn't believe all that had happened to me.It's been so long since I have talked about or thought about it that I had forgotten how horrible things went. My Aunt Jane was right when she emailed me saying that the experience is something that will soon become a blur. And it's a good thing!

We were at the Reunion for about 3 hours and Kian did really well! He did pretty much shut down after we got home though. He actually slept for along time! He went 6 hours between feedings! That's a record for him! He usually only goes about 4 hours max between feedings. Last night he went 5 hours! But then again he had a tough day at Walmart - poor fussy little man.

Our First Walk

Kian and I had our first walk together today! We met up with Gina and her daughter Danielle (Danielle is only 4 days older than Kian). Gina was in my Lamaze class and now we are in the Mommies group together. We walked on this trail that actually goes all the way to the beach in Avila - we didn't walk all the way to the beach - that would have been quite a trek.

At first Kian was upset and we had to stop so I could swaddle him and get him calmed down. Then he calmed down. We actually had to stop another time because he was so upset (it was after Mommy had taken him over a pretty big bump so I think it scared him).

Both Kian and I love the stroller that Kian's Great Grandma Zuelzke gave us :) It's the Cadillac of all strollers hehe

Well, I am definately looking forward to walking next week :) It's such a good time to get in exercise as well as some adult interaction.

Kian is starting to sleep longer! A few nights ago he went for 6 hours between feedings! I was very shocked!

Mommies Class - CPR

Tomorrow is our Mommie's class and one of the Dad's will be coming in to teach CPR to us. I don't think we will be certified but at least we will all know how to do it. Jamie and I have been talking about taking a class - especially me since I am with Kian most of the time. It will definately give me peace of mind to know it - I certianly hope I never have to use it!

Saturday, July 10, 2004

A Proud Mommy

Grocery Store

Yesterday was our second trip to the grocery store on our own. I put Kian in the front carrier and he did great! He actually had fun looking around at everything! He didn't like it if I stopped moving though - I swear that I must burn a lot of calories just swaying back and forth all the time hehe I went to Trader Joe’s and then walked next door to Food 4 Less – he did great up until the very end and was awake the entire time! I was so proud of him for being such a good boy! And that was even one day after his shots!

Fussy but Cooing

Since Kian has had his shots he's been a little fussier than he's been recently. I am hoping that he goes back to how he was before the shots. What makes things so much easier is hearing him coo a lot :) He seems to be making new noises all the time and wants to talk a lot too :) I coo back to him what he is saying and we carry on a conversation like that for about 20 minutes! His best talk time is the morning.

Sleeping More - HURRAY!!

Last night he slept for two 4 hour stretches! I was SO happy and amazed! The bad thing is that I think another growth spurt is about to hit and he will be back to a messed up schedule of wanting to eat every 2 hours round the clock for a few days to a week.

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

Two Month Check Up

Today was Kian's two month check up. He is doing really well :) Dr. Bravo says he's perfect :)

Today he weighed 10lbs 9oz. Length is 22.5 inches and his ead is 39cm. He is in the 50th percentile across the board :) Hopefully he won't get Mom's short genes and keep growing taller and taller :)

He also got a round of shots today too. He actually had four of them! Jamie came with us and I am so glad he did. I couldn't look at him at all when it was done. But I did watch them stick him - the nurse was pretty fast.

Right now he's a sleepy guy. He woke up enough to eat, take another dose of infant's tylenol and now he's off to sleep again. Poor little guy :(

Future Thumb Sucker? Leftie?

Kian can’t seem to get enough sucking done in the day! He loves his pacifier and wants it all the time. Sometimes he doesn't want that but his hand hehe Now he is starting to find his thumb - which I think is cute but I am hoping he doesn’t take too much of a liking to it. My sister, Laura, sucked her thumb for years and actually had to get a bridge in her mouth to make her stop so her teeth would grow correctly! I guess we will have to see what happens and deal with it as it comes. Right now he's still figuring out his hand and putting his whole fist in his mouth.

Another thing I noticed was that Kian prefers his left hand. I am wondering if he might be a lefty! I called my little sister to see which thumb she preferred and she said she liked her right the best – she is right handed. My grandfather and two of my uncles are lefties so I guess Kian could have a chance of being left handed too. Guess we will have to find out :) Jamie thinks he would be a great left handed pitcher and Mommy thinks he would be a great left handed quarterback ;)

Sunday, July 04, 2004

The Week of June 27th - July 4th

Happy 4th of July!

I hope everyone had their fill of BBQ'd favorites :) I know Jamie and I did :) Jamie, Kian and I went to a BBQ at our friend Steve and Lisa's. Kian did very well for his first cook out :) He was there for about 3 hours and did very well visiting with everyone. He even wore his 4th of July outfit that his Grandma Lopas bought him - he was so cute :) Me and Kian left the party early so he could rest - he was getting a little over stimulated and was having a hard time getting to sleep. I just think he doesn't want to miss out on anything that's going on! hehe Daddy stayed and played poker with the guys with his new clay chip set and he did pretty well! He finished 4th out of 12 people! Mommy and Kian are proud of Daddy, especially since he's a beginner :)

Spiderman 2

Kian has officially seen his first movie, Spiderman 2. Well, he slept through the entire movie hehe There is a drive in movie theatre in SLO not too far from where we live. This weekend they were showing Spiderman 2 as the first feature. Kian did great! He even wore his little Spiderman onsie that his Grandma Lopas bought for him :) Steve and Lisa came to the drive in with us - they thought his outfit was very cute :) Jamie and I have decided that we will probably see quite a few movies this way this summer. There's nothing like being in your own car with your own snacks and drinks and watching a movie. Not to mention, if Kian cries, he doesn't really bother anyone (it gets pretty cool at night here so we have the windows rolled up which is very nice :)

"NGah"

This last week Kian has been making some new noises. "NGah" is the one he says most :) When I was at my New Mommies class on Wednesday, a mom talked about reading in a book that if you repeat their coos back to them it will validate what they are saying and they will talk even more. Jamie and I have been doing that with Kian and he has talked to us for about 10 minutes at a time! He also has lots of smiles for us too while he tells us stories :)

Aquarium Bouncer

Kian's Great-Aunt Lori bought him an Aquarium Bouncer before he was born and I would have to say that it's his favorite thing to do! You will many pictures of him in it on our website. He can be crying from bordem and his bouncer will make him coo almost immediately. It has actually been my saving grace when I need to put him down and want him to be occupied. Talk about an invaulable gift! Thanks Aunt Lori!


Baby Einstien and Mommy's First outing Without Kian

I had my first time away from Kian on Saturday. I was only gone for about 2 hours, but I was ready to return home and see how my guys were doing :) My friend Christine and I left our little guys with our hubbies and set out for Ross Dress for Less (it's kind of like a TJ Maxx but better prices). It sure was strange to not have Kian with me but it was nice to be able to try on some clothes and shop without worrying about Kian and what he needed.

Kian was very good for Daddy :) While was I gone Jamie played one of our Baby Einstein movies for Kian. We bought the full collection of movies with baby gift money and Kian loves them! (For those of you who do not know what they are, they are DVD's that play music like Mozart and Bach while the pictures shows colorful objects moving on the screen.) They are quite boring for an adult to watch but it sure is entertaining to watch Kian watch them! Jamie said that Kian smiled as he watched for about 20 minutes! He would smile really big every time an object would change :) I'm not sure who was more entertained, Daddy or Kian hehe

Friday, June 25, 2004

Mommy's Final Doctor's Visit

Yesterday we all went to see Dr. Lickness. Up until now I have not been able to drive, lift anything that weighed more than Kian, and well...other things ;) Dr. Lickness gave me the thumbs up for everything and said I was healing well. It's so good to be able to leave the house if I need to or want to! :)

I have to say a special thank you to all of my friends here in SLO who offered help, brought meals, said prayers, and drove me places. I especially appreciate the help from Christine and Priscilla in taking me to my New Mommies Class every Wednesday. That class was (and still is) my life line. Words cannot describe how blessed I feel to have such a great church and to have so many people - most of which who do not know me - reach out and help in some way or another.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Entries from 5/19/04 - 6/23/04

6/23/04 - New Mommies Class #3 and Eye Doctor

Today was my third New Mommies Class :) This is a class that my doula, Kathy Tuck, facilitates for new moms. Kathy also taught our childbirth classes so there are several moms in the New Mommies class that were in our childbirth classes as well. It's so neat to see everyone's little ones :) The classes are basically a time for us to all share what is going on with our babies that week and ask any questions that we might have and we also have a time of learning about something. Today an eye doctor came in to talk about our baby's vision. It was great to learn about what to look for just in case our child has problems.

I also asked about color blindness since Jamie is color blind as well as his mother. I found out that the gene the carries color blindness is the "X" chromosome - since I am not colorblind and there is not history of colorblindness in my family, Kian will most likely not be color blind (unless I had a relative far back in time that gave me the recessive gene for it). The eye doctor said that unless I have the recessive gene, there is no way that any of our children will be colorblind.

6/20/04 - Father's Day and Kian's Dedication

Today is Jamie's first Father's Day! And Kian was dedicated at church :) Our friends Steve and Lisa came to watch him be dedicated :) It was so neat to have Pastor Tim pray over Kian - for his salvation at a young age and that he would be a blessing to others. Check out photos of the dedication on Week 6 Part 2 - they were taken from far away so they are a bit grainy but we sure are glad we have some photos of the event :)

6/10/04 - Kian's first shot :( and First Visit to Oddworld

Kian had his first spontaneous smile today! He has been mocking smiles back to us for a few days now, but he had his own little smile for Daddy today :) Too bad it was on the way to Dr. Bravo's where he got his first shot :( I felt so bad for our little man - he did so good though. He cried very hard (Mommy had a cry too) and then he fell asleep sucking on his pacifier.

Kian was sleeping so well and Oddworld isn't that far from Dr. Bravo's so we decided to stop by and show our little man off. Everyone thought the newest little Inhabitant was so cute and I even got a few comments about how good I looked (something always welcomed especially since I have a few more pounds to lose).

When we got home our poor little guy just slept on - I think the shot was a little to much for him :(


5/19/04
Well, tomorrow is Kian's due date and by that time he will be 12 days old! Kian is doing great :) We went and saw a lactation nurse yesterday who helped me to get him latched onto my right breast – she is a miracle worker! Kian is now feeding really well and sleeping pretty good too. He really has been quite an easy baby so far.

These past 12 days have been eventful - to say the least! After spending five days in the hospital due to some internal bleeding due to a burst blood vessel, I was ready to come home. We can home Thursday afternoon and that evening my Aunt Lori (who lives about three hours south of us) came up to help out with whatever we needed - she also went to the airport to pick up my mom who flew in from Wisconsin that day. My mom and Aunt were such wonderful helpers and they stocked our refrigerator with food and made some good meals for me and Jamie. We really needed that!

When I first got home it was hard for me to walk up the few stairs to the bedroom area of the house, and it was even harder to get in and out of bed. Now I am doing all of that on my own and I seem to feel better as every day continues. I just take it all one step at a time. My Aunt left on Sunday, my mom left on Monday, and Jamie went back to work on Monday too.

I have found over the last few days that I have had a lot of time to think and process the whole birth situation that I went through. It was not at all what I expected, and even though I kept an open mind to some things, having a C-Section was one thing that I viewed as a last resort. As I think back in disappointment, God has reminded me of this verse: "My thought are not your thought, neither are you ways my ways, declares the Lord; As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" ~ Isaiah 55:8. God had other plans for our family. And even though I went through a lot of pain and complications I can see that God wanted me to relinquish control over to Him. And now as I look back I can see so many positives that came through all the experiences we all had. God had a plan for Kian's birth - it just wasnÂ’t the same as mine. But all that really matters in the end is we have a perfectly healthy little boy :)