Monday, June 30, 2008


First of all thank you all for your kind words and thoughts for our family. Our house feels empty without Toby in it - but I am so glad he's at peace now. And even though it might sound silly, I believe his spirit is with us still. He always had to be somewhere near us somehow. That is one of the reasons why we wanted to get his ashes with us. Toby would have wanted that.

Each day things seem to get a little bit better...but man does it feel like a punch in the gut (as my dear friend Shawna says) when the times of the day roll around that I used to do things for Toby. The house does have an odd quiet about it too.

Yesterday we went to the amusement park that we have seasons passes to just to get out of the house and do something fun as a family. It was a good distraction is so many ways. I have been Toby's nurse over the last few weeks that I know Kian has had to feel slightly ignored. It was a great family time for us all.

Kian seems to be taking things better than I expected. He really misses him though. Yesterday we dropped off a lot of stuff we had for Toby at some good friends of ours. They have two BIG dogs and we figured they might be able to use the stuff. Kian loves those dogs...they are still puppies so they love to run and have almost as much energy as he does! Kian kept asking to go back and see them after we left....luckily we will get to do that this weekend and quite a bit after that since they live right down the road from us. Then, after we got back from the amusement park and we opened the door Kian called for Toby....we had to remind him he was in heaven. Toby was ALWAYS waiting for us right at the door...wanting to sniff us before we even walked in lol Sometimes we had to tell him to get back because we couldn't get inside lol!

Right now we are all trying to focus on the wonderful times we had with Toby. Toby was born the month that me and Jamie met and the first decision that Jamie and I ever made together was naming him. He has been with us this whole time - he was and still is apart of our family.

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